she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
