guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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