Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
