Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
