I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
