Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She's the barista slut.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
