she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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