wanna go halves on a baby?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
