I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
