my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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