you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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