I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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