he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
handjob tips. give me some.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Randomize