All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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