Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
