I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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