READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
