no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
