i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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