Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
