omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
