everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
