I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
