I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
