haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
