just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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