i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
