btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
