I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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