all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
