So drunk its hurt
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
