Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My vagina just clenched in fear
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