We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
