Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
