apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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