In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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