I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize