Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
