i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The adults are the big ones right?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
