Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
