It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
