I want to stick my p in your. b.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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