for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
