put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
