i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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