i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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