Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
