it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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