The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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