I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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