awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
