and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
