Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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