Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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