So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
