After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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