He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
