Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
