I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
