WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
