Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
