I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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