Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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