He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
